I am tired, physically, mentally and spiritually. I feel drained and pulled and pushed and oh so tired. The last time I felt like this was in college. I don’t remember all the circumstances except I felt like the trials never let up. There was a popular song at the time that talked about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and how it turned out to be a train barreling along towards you. That was basically how I felt about my life. I asked for a blessing , I was told that times would get so dark for me that if I didn’t cling to the Savior with everything I would get lost. I clung with all my might, like a vine I entwined myself tightly around the Lord and made it through. The reward was worth the struggle, I gained an undeniable testimony of the Gospel and my husband was standing at the end of the tunnel. My two greatest blessings.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Coming out of the Closet
It was my deepest dark secret for years. Something I only admitted in the sultry darkness of midnight as i stared into the deep blue of the night sky and revealed in my love. I kept clipping for years hidden in an old shoe box in the depth of my closet, too ashamed to show them to hang them on my wall in delight and pleasure. Right before I turned twenty –one I decided to come clean , I sat my mom, Aunt Lisa, and Mimi down and told them once and for all that I loved the color BLUE, I always had and always would. The pink, peach, salmon, fuchsia loving women gasped and grabbed each other hands, the shock of my revelation etched in their faces, I was the first Blue loving women in their lines in generation. My mother choked out “Are you sure, I really thought you liked the color peach?” Aunt Lisa, the pinkest of them all, responded with disbelief, “ why would you like blue, it is so ugly!!” Mimi said nothing as she stood up and hobbled to the bedroom to lay in darkness and pray for my soul. “Yes “,I said , “I love the color Blue and green, I even like green and I hate pink.” Mom and Aunt Lisa walked away to discuss this latest turn of events in our family’s ongoing saga. Nothing more was said for weeks and weeks, looks were exchanged when I would come out of my room draped in blue. On my birthday Aunt Lisa handed me a present wrapped in blue paper with a blue wooden sailboat tied on with a blue bow, inside was a pair of blue pajamas. “I thought you might like them, they are blue.” was all she said.